Patience in the brain

Waiting is not easy. Author Mo Willems knows that and titled a children’s book just that. The little kids in the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment knew that. Any parent who has waited for their toddler to zip up their jacket “by myself” knows that.

I’ve always been a pretty patient person. I can wait in a long line without losing my cool. I can wait for my 5-year old to finish a story. I can sit in a waiting room without looking at my phone (I consider that a superpower). 

But recently, my patience has been tested, particularly as it applies to life as a whole.

Maybe it’s because so much has been put on hold the past 2 years, but it’s become increasingly more difficult to remain rooted in the here and now instead of leaping ahead to wanting what comes next.

The juxtaposition between this impatience and the message I deliver through my work is striking - and a reminder that even mental performance experts need a taste of their own medicine. “Work the process”, I tell my athletes. “Enjoy the journey and let the next phase unfold naturally”, I say. And yet, here I am, with one foot in the present and the other reaching 5 steps ahead.

So, what’s going on in my brain? Where does patience “live” in this beautiful organ of mine (yours is beautiful too)? It turns out that very little is known about how patience is mediated in the brain. But, we do have some sense of the story, and it begins with serotonin. Just a reminder that serotonin is a neurotransmitter, or chemical messenger, that’s involved with a huge range of behaviors from stabilizing our mood to modulating learning and memory and even helping us sleep. Since it also plays a role in reward processing, it’s no surprise that it’s involved in our ability to wait patiently for a reward. 

Here’s the deal: When serotonin-producing neurons are stimulated in certain regions of the brain, animals are better able to wait for a food reward. Serotonin promotes patience. However, there’s a limit to how much serotonin can help. When the likelihood of receiving a reward goes down, this effect disappears. So, serotonin promotes patience when a reward is highly probable (like when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store - you know you’ll get to the cashier eventually). But, when there’s a higher level of uncertainty and it’s difficult to know if a reward will manifest at all (a return to “normalcy”, for example), serotonin doesn’t help us to be more patient.

Alright, so if serotonin won’t help (thanks a lot, S), what can we do to cultivate more patience? OK this is cool: You can use your imagination. Much of the research has focused on willpower to increase patience. While it’s certainly important to use your willpower to “focus on the journey”, that may not be the most effective method in all circumstances. One study found a strong link in the brain between imagination and patience: the more participants imagined possible outcomes, the better able they were to exercise patience. This essentially boils down to framing. The way you frame how the actions you’re taking right now can lead you to a desirable outcome, the better equipped you’ll be to wait for that desired outcome.

Here’s what I’m taking from all of this: when we find ourselves getting a bit restless and wishing that something in the future would happen already, we have the power to bring ourselves back to now. Here’s how: 1) Trust in serotonin. Let it do its thing and let a predictable reward come in perfect timing, and 2) Spend time exercising our imagination and visualize how the actions we take today can lead us to the desire we are hoping for tomorrow.

Trust and imagine.

Imagine and trust.

Embrace the wait.