Releasing self-judgment to perform better
We often talk about strengthening the mind-body connection, but what does that phrase actually mean? It refers to a wide range of characteristics, but one of them is the ability for the mind to be still, so that the body can do what it knows how to do. It helps to think of the mind and body as Self 1 and Self 2. Self 1 is the ego-mind; the constantly chatting and judgmental voice in your head that nags a little too much. Self 2 is your unconsciousness, your body, and your nervous system. It functions best when it’s allowed to do what it’s been trained to do - when Self 1 quiets down and gets out of the way.
So, how do we create a more harmonious relationship between Self 1 and Self 2? The first step is to practice non-judgment, particularly as directed to yourself.
A judgmental thought is one that attaches a valence, such as positive or negative, to an event. The act of committing this thought takes away from the experience itself. It prevents us from experiencing the event as it is.
How does that relate to Self 1 and Self 2? Well, a single judgmental thought can open Pandora's box. It’s the gateway for an entire sequence of thoughts, which quickly pulls us out of the present moment and our chance of pure, uninhibited performance.
Let’s break down what happens when a judgmental thought enters your mind:
You have the judgmental thought. Check.
Your mind (Self 1) creates instructions for your body (Self 2) to follow, in an attempt to correct the error, but with a whole lot of emotions getting in the mix.
Your body tries extra hard (read: tightens) to fix the problem.
You re-evaluate (or, judge) what just happened, the mind gets really loud, and the cycle continues.
Judgment → Instructions → Extra effort → Judgment . . .
So, to summarize, you have a judgmental thought, your mind becomes busy with lots of thoughts and instructions, and your body tightens. All in all not great for high performance.
Furthermore, after several cycles of this process, the mind begins to generalize. Your ego either inflates and you think, “wow, I’m super good!” or your start catastrophizing (“I’m really losing it. Today sucks. I’m not getting better fast enough!”).
Now, I’m not suggesting that you never want to give your body feedback or instructions. Of course, it needs that to learn. But, you don’t want to get in the way of the natural learning process. The goal, therefore, is not to make anything “good” or “bad”. Rather, you want to see your skills, your performance, exactly as they are. Keep it descriptive. State the facts. Don’t attach stories to the facts. This will accelerate the natural learning process that your body is inherently good at.
Remember how I said that judgments interfere with direct experience? The reason this matters is that in order to change your technique, and thereby improve, you first need to have a direct experience of your skill/performance. A coach or teacher can tell you what’s happening and your mind can offer tons of judgmental thoughts, but you have to feel what’s happening before you can change it. Don’t let the endless mental chatter distract from the direct experience of feeling.
So, the first step to quiet the mind and trust your body is to disallow intrusive, judgmental thoughts. Connect to the experience directly, exactly as it is, then state the facts and invite your body to respond accordingly.